40 Day – Day 25 “I’m cured!”

That’s right!A� You read it!A� I’m cured!A� No more depression, no more Black Dog!

Do you believe that?A� Well right now I do.A� I’m feeling really good right now and I ‘m convinced that this is it.A� In fact I was already starting to feel pretty awesome yesterday.A� Especially since I only did one twenty minute meditation yesterday and today was the same.A� I reckon that this meditation thing has done the trick.A� All good – time to move on!

Wouldn’t that be amazing?A� Just do a couple of weeks of meditation and then that’s it.A� All fixed and we can get on with our lives again without the inconvenience of having to fit in two sessions of mediation and a yoga session per day.A� I mean it’s really tough.A� Now I’m not permanently employed at the moment and I’m still struggling to find time.A� There’s always something else more pressing to do.A� Laundry, errands, writing and walking the dog.

Time to visit our friend Baron Baptiste for some advice!

“[These daily practices] are a road map back to your centre, back to your inner teacher: your conscience.A� The techniques are the way to the way, but they are not the end in themselves; they do not posses any power of their own.A� They are simply tools for excavation.” A�Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.30-31.A�A� What I’m reading here is that I’m starting to listen to my conscience.A� After three and a half weeks, I have cleared enough mind clutter to allow my inner voice, conscience whatever you want to call it to be heard.

Hearing this voice for the first time in ages is a pleasant surprise and ultimately reassuring.A� a) it means that I have one and b) it feels like it’s got something worthwhile saying!A� But this isn’t enough.A� If I stop now, then I know that over the next few days, weeks and months my head will begin to fill up with clutter and my inner voice will be drowned out amid the chatter that I have worked so hard to clear.A� Is this what I want?A� HELL NO!!

So I have to look at my rock collection.A� What is it that’s stopping me from continuing on?A� What is it that’s suggesting I’m cured and don’t need to continue?A� What stone have I stumbled across that is making me think that this is enough?A� Perhaps the Restoration Excavation Questions buying albendazole online hold the answers.

There are only three of them this week and the one that immediately jumps out at me is number three.A� Do I really give myself enough time to relax and restore myself?A� I have to admit that I am pretty bad at this.A� My idea of relaxation is going to bed at 11pm and setting that alarm for 7am and then getting on with the day.

I took twelves months off work so that I could take time out to nourish my soul, re-discover my passion and nurture my body and take the time to work out what I wanted to do when I grow up!A� In the past 12 months I have done… 3 weeks on a yoga pilgrimage around India, a full semester at the University of Sydney studying Exercise Physiology, almost finished renovating a 4 bedroom apartment, I designed, developed and delivered a corporate training package, completed a three month contract as an Operations Manager for an International Drug Testing Organisation and ran two 12 week fitness challenges.A� Yes, this is me learning to relax and find my passion for life.A� Now I see this written down, I am now beginning to see why I might not yet have found my true calling.A� I have only discovered what it is that I don’t want to do.

Time for some Pills me enterococcus uti treatment bactrim etodolac generic price time I think.

Yoga = 1, Meditation = 1, Possible insight = 1. Buy

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 24

cheap pills http://birthingfromtheheart.com/2018/03/how-much-tamoxifen-cost/ lasuna online bible order aciclovir from canada “Working this pose at about 80%, allow your chest to expand with every inhale.A� We’ll be here for a few minutes so broaden your breadth into the chest and see if you can explore the surface behind your rib cage. A� As you relax, draw your attention to the space within your chest. What does it feel like? What can you see?…..”

My mind goes blank and behind my closed eyes I am plunged into darkness.A� I focus on my breathing and follow my inhaled breath deep into my chest.

An image begins to form in my minds eye and with each inhale, like an old fashioned TV it becomes more and more focused.A� My viewpoint is from the ground as though looking through a film camera that has been set on the ground but someone forgot to hit the pause button.A� It’s dark, not nighttime but dim as though something is covering the sun.A� An eclipse of the sun perhaps.

I can’t see the sky from this vantage point.A� i have the sensation of being at the bottom of a deep chasm.A� The floor is a coarse sand. dark, grey and metallic.A� Perhaps volcanic?A� The ground stretches away from me and meets with the base of a rock face that is dark solid and foreboding.A� There is no end to this impenetrable wall.A� It stretches from left to right and steeply climbs in the direction of the sky. it’s black like flint with a metallic sheen to it.A� The rock wall isn’t smooth but jagged and steep but it looks too difficult to climb.A� There’s no warmth here, no life just dust.

I sense someone approaching. From the right I see three men in white approaching. Their outfits resemble the suits worn when responding to a bio-hazard.A� They pass by close so that so that all that is visible are their boots, the legs stretch up to bodies I cannot see. The heavy footwear makes a crunching sound with every step.A� Each one leaving behind a deep imprint in the coarse black sand.

As they pass one of them drops a silver canister. It lands in the sand and gently settles at an angle. There’s a soft click and the canister begins to emit a white smoke.

A canister is released every few metres and each one begins to smoke.A� The visibility is diminishing and the rock wall fades away and as the smoke thickens all I can see is white.

There’s a blinding flash and the dark valley has gone. In it’s place a vast desert. The piercing blue sky goes on for ever while the undulating sand dunes seem frozen in time.A� There is no breeze here.A� The dry air added to the arid landscape makes this land feel sterile.A� Could anything flourish here?A� Could life be sustained in this apparently barren environment?A� Perhaps it’s it’s hibernating, waiting for the one thing that will make it burst forth into life.

“…and with the next exhale, gentle move into the next pose.” purchase generic zofran

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 23

Law of Transformation Number 7: Relax with What Is.

I was dreading this one.A� I actually read a copy of “40 Days to personal revolution” by Baron Baptiste over Christmas.A� If you had asked me to interpret what was meant by Relax with What Is, I would have responded with order biaxin xl online display pictures of accutane packing resignation.A� This Law of Transformation was telling me to give up and stop trying.A� To realise that I can’t change anything so what’s the point.A� Why waste my energy?A� This is precisely what I wrote about in 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 20 & 21.

Three weeks into this challenge and my perspective on re-reading this law has changed dramatically.A� It’s not about changing people, situations or my life but fundamentally about giving myself a break. “God, give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.” Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.123.A� I’m being advised to create space between myself and the world that I live in so that I can understand how best to interact with it.

The previous six Laws of Transformation have led me to this point so far:

Law 1: Seek the Truth – Why am I doing this?A� What’s my motivation?A� Where in my life do I not have congruency or harmony.A� How would my life look and feel if I was living in harmony with myself and my environment?

Law 2: Be Willing to Come Apart – I thought I was about as broken as I could be when I signed up for this; physically and mentally.A� But I even had to shed this thought too.A� I had to be willing to unlearn what I thought I knew about where I was at this moment in time.

Law 3: Step out Your Comfort Zone – I pride myself on being willing to try new things.A� But there’s a difference to trying a new recipe and repeatedly going to a class that makes you want to curse and scream (Yin Yoga).

Law 4: Commit to Growth – I can only walk in one direction.A� If I walk towards something then it means I am walking away from something else.A� Walking towards a life full of calm and clarity means walking away from a life of chaos and confusion.

Law 5: Shift Your Vision – What’s my intention and purpose?A� What is it that my conscience is saying to me?A� Am I following my moral compass and am I looking at the big picture or getting caught up in the detail?

Law 6: Drop What You Know – While being injured could be an excuse for not doing anything, I’m using it as a catalyst to listen to what my body truly needs and this has been a humbling experience.

Without these previous six Laws of Transformation I would have totally misunderstood the real meaning behind Law of Transformation 7: Relax with What Is.A� The journey so far has led me to this point where I am comfortable to take a step back and allow things to flow at their own pace.A� My body will heal, my mind will learn to quieten (with more meditation!) and wherever I am right now is where I’m supposed to be.

Yoga = 1, Meditation = 1, Possible insight = 1. Pills cheap pills avodart 2.5mg price

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 22

A breakthrough!!

For the first time in ages,A� I wrote a to-do list and I followed it!

The first thing on the list was meditate. Did that at around 9am after breakfast.A� Even the boyfriend joined in and sat beside me.A� Unfortunately there were a few technical hiccups which meant the Headspace App kept stopping.A� Still twenty minutes went past quickly enough; fifteen minutes on Headspace followed by five minutes on my own with a timer set. Job Done!

Next up, a couple of work tasks.A� Send an invoice, check a payment, write an email to a fitness challenge group I’m running and knock together a first draft of a marketing plan. Tick!

Blogging next. Wrote the adalat tv show online Pills 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Days 20 & 21 and started the 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Week 3 Review buy cytotec online canada non generic viagra buy .A� ON A ROLL!!

Was beginning to get a bit tight for time so I rescheduled my 5pm Skype call with a client for the next day and headed off to the 6pm Yin Yoga class (I was on time!).A� Popped home after class, wolfed down a bowl of muesli before heading back to the yoga studio for the Weekly Community Meeting.

In researching apathy vs contentment for my 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Days 20 & 21, I found a reference to laziness and lack of energy.A� I have been concerned that I’ve been feeling apathetic and lacking energy to get shit done.A� But before you think I’m some kind of Wonder Woman and hate me for it there are a few things that have been rolled over to the next day.A� There’s the painting of the door frame that needs to be started (it’s been waiting, sanded and prepped for about four months), I also have other writing to do.

“Most of us are always pushing ourselves to the limit, convincing ourselves that we will be content only when we are working our to-do list.” Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.155.A� I was so disappointed when I read this.A� I was so pleased that for the first time in what feels like an eternity I had had a productive day and here was Baron Baptiste telling me that working off a to-do list is wrong!

STOP!!!!!!A� Did you see it?A� It took me a moment too.A� I reacted – negatively.

Let’s back up and look at the whole picture.A� I used to live by my to-do lists.A� They were epic, highly structured, colour coded, categorised according to deadline and project.A� I even created my own diary so that I could include my to-do lists.A� People would be in awe of my to-do lists and I often had requests for copies that others could use!A� A good day meant that I had powered through the list with nothing rolling over.A� Each item completed got a line confidently crossed through it and I would have triumphed once again!A� Type A or what?

Since starting my sabbatical 12 months ago I have rarely used a to-do list.A� I would halfheartedly scribble on the back of an envelope and then beat myself up at the end of the day when nothing had been accomplished.A� In the end I decided not to bother any more as it just invited a visit from my Black Dog.

But today felt different.A� The to-do list felt like an invitation to take a step towards change but only if I was ready.A� I felt no burning sense of frustration that I wasn’t ticking things off quickly.A� I had no nagging resentment towards myself when I rolled something over to the next day.A� It just was how it had to be, it’s how I was meant to be.A� It looks like I might have just discovered Law of Transformation: Relax with What Is.

Yoga = 1, Meditation = 2, Possible insight = 1. Cheap

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Week 3 Review

So I’m three weeks into this challenge.A� It’s the halfway mark and on reflection I think there have been a few positive changes.A� I certainly feel calmer but I wonder whether I am apathetic rather than equanimous (See 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Days 20 & 21).

1. How much do I believe that the winds of grace support me.A� I know that I am extremely lucky.A� I’m like a cat in the way that I seem to land on my feet.A� Unfortunately I don’t believe that I have nine lives too.A� Reflecting on this statement causes me to think that perhaps I should be more grateful for the things that I do have rather than to focus on the challenges or mishaps.A� There’s a nice saying practice the attitude of gratitude which I could probably pay more attention to on a day to day basis.

2. In what areas of my life can I have less reaction and more divine interpretation? http://lejligheder-til-leje-i-danmark.dk/generic-periactin-4mg.html pills online I find that I am more reactive (negatively) towards things that are habitual or routine.A� Once a week I drive to Balmain from Manly to teach a yoga class.A� I leave one and a half hours early to make sure that I can get there in time for a 5pm start. Ninety minutes to drive across the Spit, Harbour and Anzac Bridges.A� Do I need this time?A� Absolutely!A� I usually arrive with twenty five minutes to spare which allows me to set up the room and calm down from a stressful drive. order cyklokapron cost

Out of the blue scenarios seem to be easier to practice equanimity on.A� If a situation is unfamiliar, it seems easier to practice an unfamiliar response.A� That of detachment, reflection and then response.

3. How can I enhance the quality of my life through a shift in my attitude? Recognising or acknowledging that I have reacted is a good place to start.A� Often it has to be pointed out to me that I have over-reacted to something.A� Recognising it myself would be a good start and one that I think I am making headway on.A�

Ultimately, I would like to move back along the timeline and be able to recognise that my buttons are being pressed before the final red ignition button is pressed.A�

Unsurprisingly, most of the reactivity occurs internally.A� I start to feel my heart rate increase, my jaw begins to tense up and I can feel my stomach starting to twist and turn.A� Very little of this actually makes it to the exterior which means you’ve got to be pretty good at reading the signs before you get a taste of my passive aggressive reaction!

Learning how to do this would result in me not having sleepless nights, vivid daydreams of giving a non-paying client his dues and digestive system that didn’t replicate Mount Vesuvius. buy-metformin-without-rx-canada

4. What things are most likely to trigger reactivity in me? Rude people, people who jump to conclusions, friends that promise to stick by you and then let you down at the last minute, friends that dump you with a dodgy client, clients that don’t pay.A� My own stupidity for accepting a job from a friend of a friend.A� Do I need to go on?

5. What can I do in those moments of reactivity to respond better?A� I like the phrase it’s easy to beg for forgiveness than seek permission!A� Unfortunately I don’t think that this is the point of the exercise.A� Sometimes getting up and walking away is impractical (eg work meeting).A� So having a repertoire of actions to hand means that you’re prepared for every occasion. eg breathing, counting, a mantra “I am cool, I am calm, I am centred” order bonnispaz

Suicide is…

On Saturday 22nd February, Charlotte Dawson (a well known Australian celebrity) killed herself after a long battle with depression.A� While every death is sad,A� I found this one much more so because the cause was depression.

Being a sufferer, I understand and empathise with the deceased but it was an article written by Anonymous for MamaMia entitled Suicide isn’t romantic or iconic.A� It’s permanent.A� That has caused me to reflect.

Suicide is… a Stupid Solution: I’m not a celebrity.A� I don’t have lots of money.A� I haven’t told the whole world that I have depression.A� I haven’t stood up for the rights of those who are bullied and campaigned for them.

What message has been sent to all those people who looked up to this person and thought “she understands me”, “she’s on my side”, she’s fighting in my corner and she’s going to make things better”? The message I’m hearing is “when the going get’s tough, get out. Permanently.”

How will we ever find ways to cure depression or at least manage it if suicide is promoted as a solution.A� Medication is an option, counseling is an option. Yoga is an option.A� Killing yourself isn’t.

Suicide is… Permanent: ditropan online bestellen I have depression and I understand that it’s a life long affliction.A� I understand that I’ll have good days and I’ll have bad days.A� I’ll have days that are so dark that I’ll want to kill myself to avoid the voices that tell me I’m not good enough and the feeling that I can’t breathe because I’m drowning.A� I call these my Black Dog Days.A� These are tough days and they’re exhausting.

But somewhere in a very, very small part of my mind there’s a picture and I cling to it as though it’s a life raft.A� It’s a picture of my mum and dad back home receiving a call from Australia to tell them that their daughter is dead.A� The emotions that I can see on their faces makes me feel so guilty that I just couldn’t do that to them.A� So no matter how tough it gets I wouldn’t do it.

Suicide is… Selfish: cheap toradol shot My family is the one thing that stops me from committing suicide.A� Despite the physical miles that lie between us, I couldn’t bear for them to receive a phone call saying that I’d taken my own life.A� That has to be the ultimate insult to loving parents.A� They gave me life, nurtured me as a child and supported me until I was stupid enough to think I could survive in the big wide world all by myself.A� To commit suicide is to take that life and throw it back in their faces.A� I would expect them to hunt me down in the afterlife and give me a belting.

Suicide is Messy: I don’t mean physically in terms of dead body disposal, although I’m sure that the mode of death could result in plenty of work for the team at Sunshine Cleaning.A� I mean the psychological mess.A� Even the most eloquently written suicide note, blog, YouTube video etc would never be able to stop someone from thinking “I could have stopped them” or “why didn’t they tell me” or “I should have done more”.

Suicide leaves a rip in the universe.A� A person shaped cutout.A� One minute you are there, the next you’re not.A� For those of you saying that it’s the same for victims of murder or accident you’re right… to a point.A� A person that commits suicide has chosen to die.A� To commit murder. Premeditated murder.A� That leaves behind guilt, questions and anger.

http://andika.mhs.narotama.ac.id/2018/02/02/forzest-price/ canada viagra no script Buy Suicide is… a Call for Action: Depression is a mental illness and that makes it unsexy.A� I get that.A� Socially we’re more comfortable talking about alcoholism, drug addiction or infidelity, all of which could be a symptom of depression.A� I remember the first time I told a close friend of mine that I had depression and was seeing a psychologist.A� “But you’re so happy, you’re so [pause] normal.”A� And therein lies the problem.A� Admitting to having depression is like admitting you can’t handle real life.A� The first time I was prescribed medication the doctor saw that I was uncomfortable in taking them.A� She said “some people have an allergy to pollen and get hayfever.A� You have an allergy to stress and get depressed.” Hmmm righto then, that makes me feel so much better.

We need to talk more openly about depression.A� Yes, it’s a life long ailment but the more we learn about it the better we can manage it and help each other to live with our Black Dogs.


40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 20 & 21

I’ve felt pretty distracted the past couple of days.A� There are a couple of reasons for this.

1) The death of Charlotte Dawson.A� Charlotte was pretty outspoken on the subject of cyber bullying and has also been very open about her own fight with depression.A� I’ll be writing a blog post specifically on this so I won’t elaborate further.A� Needless to say the event has provided an opportunity for deep reflection.

2) I’m concerned about the effect that meditation is having on me.A� My meditation is now 15 minutes twice a day.A� Am I finding it easy? No.A� Relaxing? Yes but ultimately it seems to be having a flattening effect on my emotions.

Over the past two days I’ve been wondering if this is what normal should feel like.A� Do people without depression feel like this.A� I feel apathetic, disconnected.A� How would a Gen Y put it? Meh.

Is this what headspace is all about?A� I actually feel like I’m on drugs!A� I get a similar feeling when I’m on my strong painkillers for my neck or knee.A� But since my neck and knee are still hurting I know that I haven’t accidentally dosed myself up and what I am actually feeling is a drug induced stupor.

I asked my boyfriend at the end of day 21 if he had noticed any difference.A� He said no, not really.A� But then said that I did seem a bit calmer.A� Seeing my facial expression he felt the need to elaborate further and saidA� that I still got really upset at things (Black Dog Days) but overallA� appeared to be calmer.

“The greatest challenge to our equanimity is our reactivity.A� A calm, equanimous mind does not react to circumstances or sensations around it and can turn the poison of distraction and aversion into nectar for growth.” Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.153.A� Is this what’s happening?A� Is my mind calming down?A� Have I begun to create the space in my head that will allow me to live a more constructive and generous life?

I’m kind of missing all the chatter in my head though!A� It seems very empty and lonely in there.A� I feel as though there’s a huge empty space in my head and I should be filling it with stuff.A� Instead I feel like I’m walking around in a bit of a daze.

So I Googled the subject “I feel apathetic after meditation”.A� One common thread that has appeared with this subject is contentment versus apathy online 200 mg zovirax .A� It seems to be a popular discussion point and I found some very interesting articles and blogs in various forums:

I feel that Buddhism has made me apathetic.“A� In this post, the author discusses how they feel as though they don’t an opinion on anything.A� When walking with a friend they encountered a woman shouting obscenities.A� They friend was shocked by the cursing while they responded with “she must be having a bad day.”A� One of the responses to this blog was also very interesting.A� This commenter says that apathy is the near enemy to equanimity and leads to lethargy.

The Bhagavad Gita talks about laziness as being a sign that a person is traveling down the path of ignorance.
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aprakaso pravrttis caA� pramado maha eva caA�A�A�A�A�A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A� A�A� A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A� tamasy etani jayanteA� vivrddhe kuru-nandana

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“When there is an increase in the mode of ignorance, O son of Kuru, darkness, inertia, madness and illusion are manifested.” – A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, “Bhagavad Gita – As it is”, 14:13, p.735.

My interpretation of what is being discussed both online and in the Bhagavad Gita goes like this.A� Both positions apathetic andA�equanimous bring about a detachment of our emotions from a situation that previously may have inspired an immediate reaction.

However, if we feel apathetic then it is unlikely that we will generate the energy to respond to the situation.A� Whereas if we are equanimous, we would still respond but from a position of calm. The second also requiring energy to bring about action.

Yoga = 2, Meditation = 2, Possible insight = order alavert 10 Meh Buy .

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 19

Today was full of ups and downs.

The ups; I witnessed a beautiful sunrise while training on the beach with my training buddy, I baked two rye baguettes (oh the smell of freshly baked bread cannot be beaten!) and a good friend of mine came to Manly for a visit.A� We split our time between sitting on the beach and my apartment.A� We treated ourselves to fresh coffee from a local cafe and then there was my fresh banana bread from yesterday ( buying lipitor from canada 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 18 order roxithromycin tablet pristiq cheapest price ).

We spoke a lot about perspective.A� She had recently returned from a month in Cambodia.A� When I last spoke to her, she had said it was the most amazing trip she had ever taken.A� This time she elaborated on why this was the case.A� To set the scene; my friend finally got her Permanent Residency in July last year and then two months later was made redundant.A� After a period of disappointing job hunting she decided to travel around Asia over the festive season to make her money stretch further.A� She returned a few weeks ago and there’s a noticeable change.

Her travels through Cambodia took her to some of the sites famous because of the slaughter of millions of people during the Khmer Rouge’s cleansing in the 1970’s.A� Knowing little of what happened I was shocked to learn that the genocide that took place involved the slaughter of anyone deemed to be intelligent; teachers, engineers, scientists, people who wore glasses.A� One in four people were killed.A� 25% of the population and it left a gaping hole in terms of the countries intelligence.A� They are generations behind their neighbours, Vietnam and Thailand.

My friend said that they had an air of resignation about them.A� “There is a famous quote by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr that says, “God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.” Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.123.

Whilst in Cambodia, my friend had begun to understand what this meant.A� The Cambodians had no choice but to accept their situation.A� They had limited options, their choices were few and with so much corruption they sought happiness and contentment in the simple things in life.

Here in Sydney we are very lucky.A� My friend has her Permanent Residency, her health, friends and a job interview on Monday.A� She has options.A� I have my Permanent Residency, my own roof over my head and good business contacts.A� I have options.

After my friend left I got to thinking.A� If you’re familiar with this blog you will know that this is not always a good idea.A� My Black Dog came and paid a visit and within a very short space of time I was feeling very blue.A� I think that this time it was born from frustration.A� After a year off work I am still no clearer as to what I want to do.A� Should I return to work, join the rat race or look for something more meaningful to do with my life?A� These are not questions to be contemplated with a Black Dog sitting on my lap.

In the end I gave myself permission to miss the yoga class that I had planned to attend at 6:15pm and went and had a massage instead.A� My boyfriend and I then spent the evening with our feet up drinking beers, eating pizzas and watching The Avengers.

Yoga = 0, Meditation = 1 + a massage, Balanced diet = 0 Buy http://fidia-2010.mhs.narotama.ac.id/2018/03/15/lexapro-vs-generic-escitalopram/

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 18

Today was another opportunity to see just where my nutrition is, or isn’t.

I’ve been walking past the fruit bowl and everyday I’ve noticed the bananas progressing further down the ripening process.A� I bought them tinged with green knowing that they would last a while.A� I’m really fussy about my bananas; A� I can’t stand green bananas as they leave that weird bitter, scaly texture on my teeth, they can’t be green, they can’t be too yellow and if they have too many brown spots then they’re too sugary.A� I also can’t eat a whole banana – unless it’s a baby one.A� After a few mouthfuls, it all gets a bit much and I try to find someone to eat the rest of it!

Last week they progressed from edible (just a few brown spots) to smoothie ingredient.A� My boyfriend and I both agreed that it was time for some baking.A� At the beginning of the week they had begun to attract fruit flies and today they had disappeared from the fruit bowl.A� After a recon mission I found them in the fridge looking very worse for wear.A� I won’t go into detail but it was a case of bake or compost.

Two hours later and the apartment was filled with the aroma of banana bread baking in the oven.A� The baking time for this particular recipe is one and a half hours, which is perfect reading time.A� So I opened up my 40 Days to Personal Revolution and looked up Week Three Balancing Diet – Oops!

“Throughout the week, when you have a craving [for sugar], take a moment to be still, breathe, and seek the truth of what is really going on.A� Did you just get some bad news?” Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.152.

If you’ve read yesterday’s post ( wellbutrin online without rx purchase copegus manufacturer 40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 17) then you’ll know I did receive some bad news.A� But here’s my dilemma.A� Should I have baked the banana bread?A� In week two the book discusses the difference between healthy and wholesome.A� The banana bread is certainly wholesome and it’s a favourite recipe of mine (and now my boyfriend).A� I got to use up the bananas before they ended up in the compost bin so that’s reducing food waste right?A� But what about the sugar?A� The recipe uses a fair amount of brown sugar and overripe bananas are loaded in the sugary sweet stuff.

When I posted to Facebook that I was baking banana bread I was offered two alternative recipes, one paleo and one clean.A� Since I had already embarked on my baking session I carried on regardless.A� Perhaps I should have been more adventurous or perhaps that’s the wrong word.A� It’s interesting that I went straight to my favourite recipe without even considering alternatives.A� Did I react too quickly and jump to a recipe within my comfort zone or am I over thinking this?

Personally I think the banana bread is ok.A� It made the apartment smell homely, my boyfriend got to see that I’m not a complete novice in the baking department and I have something to give my friend for morning tea when she comes to visit tomorrow.

Yoga = 1, Meditation = 1, Warm fuzzy glow = 1. buy mentats fallout new vegas http://iconitchiangmai.com/series4/cheap-nimotop-for-sah/ Pills

40 Day Yoga Challenge – Day 17

What does it take to make you change your perspective on life?A� An accident, the loss of a loved one, a health scare, news from home?

I received a letter from the UK today.A� It’s a letter I’ve been waiting for.A� I knew the contents were going to be difficult to read but the author taught me the real meaning behind equanimity.A� In our weekly Community Meeting our guide spoke of non-attachment.A� Can we experience ecstasy, joy and freedom without becoming attached to it?A� Can we enjoy the intoxicating buzz of love knowing that it can be ripped away in an instant?

My friend showed me true strength and courage in her letter.A� Her nickname for me is “Stunning”.A� I just love receiving emails, messages or letters from her as they always start with “Hi Stunning!”A� Who doesn’t want to open a letter and read that?A� Those first two words always bring a smile to my face and I adore her for that.A� Her first paragraph asked whether I was coming home to the UK for a visit and if so, would I be bringing the boyfriend because it “would be awesome to meet him!”

What followed next broke my heart as I read just how hard things have been for her these past few months.A� The strength and courage that she has demonstrated as she endured the hardest of life’s challenges has blown my mind.

But it was unnerving to discover what rolled through my head, the thoughts, emotions and feelings.A� The first was sadness.A� No human being should have to endure the pain and suffering that she had.A� The next was buy cialis from ryerson anger http://awsomedealz.biz/buy-beconase-uk/ buy maxalt online how much calcium with fosamax .A� Discovering that my friend had suffered this without me knowing was painful to accept.A� She had hinted at something in her Christmas card from home but had remained stoically silent ever since.

Then my Black Dog started nibbling at my heals bringing with him the truly dark thoughts.A� “You don’t have anything to be miserable about, your best friend knows the true meaning of low and look – she still has the time to ask if you’re coming to the UK for a visit!A� You’re pathetic.”

And it’s true.A� I am.A� Or perhaps I’m attached to these emotions that I’m feeling.A� At the bottom of the letter were the words “I hope you’ve had a better start to 2014 than we have!”A� An invitation to share!A� Yes!A� I am also miserable!A� Me too, me too!A� My first reaction was to grab paper and pen, to write down how traumatic things have been and how out of control my Black Dog is getting…

But I stopped.

cancalam hi manah krsna pramathi balavad drdham A� A�A� A� A� A� A�A� A�A�A�A�A� A� A� A� A� A�A� A� A� A� A� A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A� tasyaham nigraham manyeA� vayor iva su-duskaram

For the mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Krishna, and to subdue it, I think, is more difficult than controlling the wind. A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, “Bhagavad Gita – As it is”, p.365.

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Even in her darkest point my friend opened her letter by asking if I was coming back to the UK for a visit and how great it would be to catch up.A� Throughout her letter she showed to me how she was staying strong and while the pain is still fresh, there is healing to be done.A� Now is not the time for me to be unloading my emotions and problems.A� Whilst it might be a distraction for her I want her energy to be directed towards healing herself.A� So I have put down my pen and paper, written this blog entry and before I go to bed I’ll do my fifteen minutes of meditation.

“Equanimity releases us from unrealistic expectations about what life should be and allows us to stay centred amid the inevitable highs and lows.”A� Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.124.

Yoga = 0, Meditation = 2, Possible insight = 1.