40 Day Challenge – Day 26 “Sabotage”

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A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A� asakta-buddhih sarvatraA�A�A� jitatma vigata-sprhahA�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A�A� naiskarmrya-siddhim paramamA�A�A� sannyasenadhigacchati

One who is self-controlled and unattached and who disregards all material enjoyment can obtain, by practice of renunciation, the highest perfect stage of freedom from reaction.A� A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, “Bhagavad Gita – As it is”, p.882.

Anyone observing me for the past twenty-four hours would have thought that I was preparing to compete in an eating competition, or maybe it was my last meal and I was actually on death row.A� Whatever wasn’t nailed down was fair game. I ate the left overs from the night before (after all they might go off), the open bar of chocolate (I don’t want the temptation while I’m on my three day fruit fast).A� I even baked muffins!A� They’re amazing!A� Banana, oatmeal and flax muffins.A� I added some pecan nuts and white chocolate chips too because the packets were open and they might go off – yeah right.

I had breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, a pre-bedtime treat and I snacked in between.A� I ate consistently from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed at one minute before midnight.A� I like to consider it as grazing but realistically they weren’t small meals.A� Breakfast was a full cooked English affair, lunch was a pizza with a schooner of cider and dinner was a braised chicken and lentil casserole with mashed potatoes.A� My boyfriend and I also polished off a bottle of red between us.

Have I set myself up for success or failure?

“To the degree that we are willing to see clearly our self-destructive patterns, they lose their hold on us and wither away.A� There is tremendous power in just knowing what is going on within us, not so that we can “work on our stuff,” but so that we can begin to release it.”A� Baron Baptiste, “40 Days to personal revolution”, p.31.

I certainly haven’t made the first day of my fruit fast easy.A� I have gone to bed very late, stuffed full of food and half a bottle of good red wine which my body has to process while I sleep.A� In the morning, I’m going to wake up and most likely be a little grumpy.A� Perhaps a bit of a headache and the first thing that I’ll want will be my morning cup of tea.

On the 40 Day Yoga Challenge Facebook page I spoke of the importance of preparation for this fast.A� I have my supplies in the fridge but I certainly did not prepare myself mentally for the challenge.A� Others in the group performed the fruit fast at the beginning of the week.A� Others like me, kept on delaying it, saying that “the weekend will be better”, I’ll be more prepared at the end on the week” and “I’ll have time to get ready”.A� Ultimately these are all excuses and what is really hiding begin these words are the obstacles that we need to discover.

All week I’ve been thinking about the three day fruit fast.A� It’s been bugging me and I’ve really struggled to come to terms with doing it.A� Is it hard? No, I did at eight week high protein – no/low carb programme last year.A� I lost 7 kilos and made it into the top twenty finalists – now that was tough!A� No, it was a different kind of chatter going on in my head.A� I’m still not 100% sure where exactly the resistance is coming from.A� Perhaps it’s the idea of ‘having to do’ something.A� Being told that this is what I have to do, that this is what I’m allowed to eat.

Whatever it is, I’m sure that it will come to the forefront over the next three days.

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Author: Sarah Keast

"I'm just a thumbprint on the side of a skyscraper of the world." Miles, Sideways (2004). My psych said that creative expression might help with my depression. I've tried writing about yoga but the fact that I can't touch my toes makes me feel like a fraud. Given that everything I plant dies it seems pointless writing about my gardening attempts. So here are the rantings of a self confessed over-achiever who has found herself disillusioned with the establishment and diagnosed with depression. Happy Days.