The long road to self-acceptance

I suffer from depression and apparently I have done for many years. A�I’ve found thatA� The 5 Stages of Acceptance by Elisabeth Kubler-RossA�is a really good starting point for those of us that wonder why we’re not bouncing out of bed every morning.

I had an Ineternational career, a husband, a houseA�and a family that loved me. A�In 2009, we suffered a death in the family, shortly after I lost my job, my home and then my husband asked for a divorce. A�I had always considered myself to be very resilient and each time I got knocked down I would get back up but by January 2012 I was finding it harder and harder to get out of bed.

I battled on and on which is always the first stage -A�Denial strattera cost canada . “There’s nothing wrong”, “I’ll bounce back”, “I’ll feel better tomorrow”, “it’s just a phase”, “toughen up princess and get on with it”…. and so it went on.

I was prescribed anti-depressants and I rebelled terribly against the medication. A�I felt that taking drugs was a sign of weakness and I really thought that I was less of a human for not being able to cope without this tiny little pill. A�I became consumed by rage all internally directed and it’sA�AngerA�that’s the second stage of acceptance. A�The things I would say to myself were so hurtful, things I would never even say to my worst enemy but I was my own worst enemy.

It was at this time that I found a poster offering Yoga Teacher Training. A�My experience of yoga had been pretty limited but I begged the school to let me join the course and thankfully they did.

Being unable to touch my toes was only the first of many challenges I would face. A�I was in a room of people that had practiced yoga for years, decades! A�I felt like such a fraud. A�I would unroll my mat at the back of the studio and sweat and strain my way through every class attempting to each pose but lacking any kind of grace or poise. A�I felt like stick insect in a room of butterflies.

I would barter with myself throughout each class. A�”When you finish this class you can treat yourself to a hot chocolatea�? or a�?If you do your home you can have a bowl of ice cream.a�? A�I had entered theA�BargainingA�stage.

Over time I felt a change. A�I didna��t become any more flexible, or graceful. A�I would experience these overwhelming surges of emotion I would either collapse in a fit of giggles or burst into tears and retreat to childa��s pose,balasanaA�until I regained my composure. A�After class I would feel that I had been wrung out, flipped over and turned inside out. A�My fellow teacher trainers were wonderful and were such a supportive group and I began to acknowledge that things werena��t right and I needed to deal with the situation. A�I hadA� ciprofloxacin without a prescription Depression.

It took nine months to complete my teacher training and through the support of my teachers and fellow students I threw away my medication and went on to teach yoga in Doha, Dubai, India and Sydney.Four years have passed and I have set up home in Sydney. A�I relapsed and suffered a suspected mental breakdown. A�Luckily I progressed through the above four stages much more quickly than before and I am taking medication and seeing a wonderful psychiatrist and together wea��re finding a way forward.

I am collecting a toolkit of skills that I can use to assist myself and theses around me deal with my depression. A�My partner is amazing and has helped me come to terms with what has been while I focus on where I want to be.

Ita��s been a long journey but I think Ia��ve discovered Self-Acceptence. sale prinivil

How Not to Compost

The Entrance to the compound! street price for celexa The Entrance to the compound!

My first attempt at composting was in 2007.A� I remember it well.A� I had moved to Doha, Qatar for work and part of my relocation package was a two bedroom townhouse with a small garden out the back.A� I was pretty excited about having my first garden and my imagination ran wild as I thought about growing my own little oasis in the middle of the desert.


order danazol drug This was the view outside the compound!

I should point out that my townhouse was in the middle of a compound that had beautifully manicured lawns, tall palm trees and a small legion of gardeners that kept everything watered from morning to night.A� I figured that creating my oasis would be easy. A�I will acknowledge that the compound was located in the middle of a barren desert!


Coming from a family of keen gardeners I am ashamed to admit that I had not inherited a green thumb. But there was one this that I did remember and that was the importance of compost.A� a�?Your plants are only as good as the soil they grow in.a�?A� I dona��t know who said that and maybe I read it in a magazine but I immediately set about googling compost at home.

My parents have a compost heap at the bottom of the garden.A� Vegetable scraps, egg shells, coffee grounds and grass trimming are diligently collected and added to the heap which then silently works ita��s magic until the time comes when they can collect this magic dirt and grow more stuff.


My parents garden is in Kent in the UK which is also known as the a�?Garden of Englanda��.A� Everything and anything grows there.A� The only potential risk to their compost heap is the occasional flooding.A� To be honest, Ia��m sure Dad looks at that as a blessing because the compost ends up spread across the garden and he didna��t have to shovel it!

So I decided to start small.A� I got a bucket with a lid, punctured drainage holes in the bottom and started collecting my food scraps.A� I was going great guns and after only a week I had filled my bucket half way.A� My Googling research informed me that I shouldna��t mess with the compost and should just leave it to work ita��s magic.A� Just turn it once in a while.

After two weeks I began to detect a bit of a smell coming from the side of the house.A� Ia��d already had a few problems with the toilet and a flooding washing machine so I figured that something had gone wrong with the drains.A� I notified maintenance but they couldna��t find the source of the problem.

The smell got progressively worse and seemed to emanate from one particularly shaded corner of the garden.A� The Compost Bin!A� Gingerly I opened the lid and was hit in the face by the stench of putrified food waste.A� I quickly resealed the lid and went back to Google.

Composting is the process of bacteria breaking down the scraps into dirt.A� Ia��m sure therea��s a far more technical explanation but according to google these micro-organisms require oxygen.A� They can do their job anaerobically (without oxygen) but the end result is usually rather smelly – Oh really?!A� So I went back to the bucket and bravely drilled holes around the side releasing the stench onto my neighbours.A� My apologies to them for this rather delayed confession.

After a few days I was able to approach the bin without wanting to hurl and took the lid off.A� I could see that the food scraps had definitely rotted but not into a rich soil like consistency but more like untreated sewage that sloshed around in the bin.A� Since adding air holes, fruit flies had moved in and made themselves comfortable.A� The sides of the bin were coated in fruit fly eggs and once hatched they flew lazily around the surface of the putrified sludge.

Not to be thwarted I decided that it probably just needed to dry out and so with the smell no longer an issue I left the lid off hoping that with a little time and sunshine, the festering slime would somehow transform into a nutritious loam.

Herea��s a little geography lesson for you.A� Qatar is locateda��a��.. This means that ita��s average temperature in the summer is a��.. and can easily reach 50 Celsius during the hottest month of the year, August.A� My little experiment into composting had begun in February and it was now mid summer and I was about to learn my next lesson about composting.

Bacteria are fussy little buggers when it comes to temperature.A� Thata��s why food needs to be kept in the fridge, otherwise the bacteria has a field day and makes the food go off.A� If your compost gets too cold they hibernate until it warms up again.A� If it gets too hota��.. they die.A� So a week after taking the lid of the compost bin I went and checked it out.A� The compost had definitely dried out.A� Instead of sewage I now had desiccated black powder.

Perhaps I could have mixed this with water and used it to fertilise the few plants that I had growing in the garden but after five months I was thoroughly disheartened and through the bucket away and opted to visit the garden centre instead!

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