The long road to self-acceptance

I suffer from depression and apparently I have done for many years. A�I’ve found thatA� http://the-dog.page-swiss.ch/?p=301244 The 5 Stages of Acceptance by Elisabeth Kubler-RossA�is a really good starting point for those of us that wonder why we’re not bouncing out of bed every morning.

I had an Ineternational career, a husband, a houseA�and a family that loved me. A�In 2009, we suffered a death in the family, shortly after I lost my job, my home and then my husband asked for a divorce. A�I had always considered myself to be very resilient and each time I got knocked down I would get back up but by January 2012 I was finding it harder and harder to get out of bed.

I battled on and on which is always the first stage -A�Denial strattera cost canada . “There’s nothing wrong”, “I’ll bounce back”, “I’ll feel better tomorrow”, “it’s just a phase”, “toughen up princess and get on with it”…. and so it went on.

I was prescribed anti-depressants and I rebelled terribly against the medication. A�I felt that taking drugs was a sign of weakness and I really thought that I was less of a human for not being able to cope without this tiny little pill. A�I became consumed by rage all internally directed and it’sA�AngerA�that’s the second stage of acceptance. A�The things I would say to myself were so hurtful, things I would never even say to my worst enemy but I was my own worst enemy.

It was at this time that I found a poster offering Yoga Teacher Training. A�My experience of yoga had been pretty limited but I begged the school to let me join the course and thankfully they did.

Being unable to touch my toes was only the first of many challenges I would face. A�I was in a room of people that had practiced yoga for years, decades! A�I felt like such a fraud. A�I would unroll my mat at the back of the studio and sweat and strain my way through every class attempting to each pose but lacking any kind of grace or poise. A�I felt like stick insect in a room of butterflies.

I would barter with myself throughout each class. A�”When you finish this class you can treat yourself to a hot chocolatea�? or a�?If you do your home you can have a bowl of ice cream.a�? A�I had entered theA�BargainingA�stage.

Over time I felt a change. A�I didna��t become any more flexible, or graceful. A�I would experience these overwhelming surges of emotion I would either collapse in a fit of giggles or burst into tears and retreat to childa��s pose,balasanaA�until I regained my composure. A�After class I would feel that I had been wrung out, flipped over and turned inside out. A�My fellow teacher trainers were wonderful and were such a supportive group and I began to acknowledge that things werena��t right and I needed to deal with the situation. A�I hadA� ciprofloxacin without a prescription Depression.

It took nine months to complete my teacher training and through the support of my teachers and fellow students I threw away my medication and went on to teach yoga in Doha, Dubai, India and Sydney.Four years have passed and I have set up home in Sydney. A�I relapsed and suffered a suspected mental breakdown. A�Luckily I progressed through the above four stages much more quickly than before and I am taking medication and seeing a wonderful psychiatrist and together wea��re finding a way forward.

I am collecting a toolkit of skills that I can use to assist myself and theses around me deal with my depression. A�My partner is amazing and has helped me come to terms with what has been while I focus on where I want to be.

Ita��s been a long journey but I think Ia��ve discovered Self-Acceptence. sale prinivil

Author: Sarah Keast

"I'm just a thumbprint on the side of a skyscraper of the world." Miles, Sideways (2004). My psych said that creative expression might help with my depression. I've tried writing about yoga but the fact that I can't touch my toes makes me feel like a fraud. Given that everything I plant dies it seems pointless writing about my gardening attempts. So here are the rantings of a self confessed over-achiever who has found herself disillusioned with the establishment and diagnosed with depression. Happy Days.